Released: Dec 01st, 1998
Running Time: 83
Director: Jurgen Anger
Company: All Worlds Video
Cast: Celso, Carlo (II), Michele, William (I), Dale (II), Xerxes, Paul (II), Leroy, Renato (II), Jon
Critical Rating: AAAA 1/2
Genre: Gay and Bi
Definately not main-stream. This tape is kooky and smart. Your savvy customers will love it. The sex, by the way, is great.
Dispel all preconceptions that the title conjures up in your mind. The reality of Bulging Bavarians will belie them all. In the purest sense of the notion, Bulging Bavarians is a fairy tale complete with a wicked witch, sorcery and spells, an effeminate protagonist, a prince charming and lots and lots of, well, Bulging Bavarians.
The tape begins rather innocuously. There is some cross-cutting between an airy, white bedroom where a young black man lies asleep on some crisp white sheets and a darker subterranean office inhabited by a voyeuristic, maleficent character. Soon enough, the Snow White/wicked witch parallels become obvious. The traditional mirror has been replaced by a modern computer screen which allows evil to spy on good. The black man in bed (the Snow White character) is, for some inexplicable reason, the cover boy on a magazine. The evil character has a morbidly curious interest in the cute ingenue (as evil always does in this type of story) and needs to jerk off while watching the young man sleep. As young men will, the good character awakes horny, jerks off to his own image in the mirror while he changes ridiculous clothes for a while, eventually deciding on a plaid mini-skirt. The hero/heroine is not what one would call masculine. Androgyny seems to be a necessary component in the make-ups of each of these characters, which helps with the fairy tail plot of Bulging Bavarians.
While our hero goes off into the woods, the witch summons his evil henchman. The evil henchman is not such a bad guy. He wears camouflage clothes and fucks like a steamroller. He is the first true Bulging Bavarian and an obvious good guy caught in the evil mind trap of the witch. Witch puts henchman to work, plowing witch's ass, before sending henchman out to kill hero with knife. Hero is asleep in woods. But henchman can't use knife; uses cock instead. This is about the point where the crazy genius of Bulging Bavarians becomes obvious. The woods are not woods at all. In the economical German Expressionist style, there are some props in the foreground, but the backdrop is painted. It is a dreamy theatrical landscape. Before long the Bulging Bavarians arrive en masse. They are the seven dwarfs disguised as seven bulging woodcutters. They chop wood and fuck and suck all day before the hero enters their lives and cleans up their camp, doing the dishes and setting out vases of flowers. The art direction here is inspired. The woodcutters all wear plaid shirts and leg warmers with the shortest possible lederhosen, but no one wears the same color. They are color-coded woodcutters. They eat off of color-coded plates and drink from color-coded cups.
For a while, everyone is happy. There is one particularly wild night scene (all the lights in the woods are gelled blue) where one woodcutter pisses on another woodcutter who is in a tub, then they laugh and bathe together before the rough fucking on the splintery table. (Ouch.) This much happiness cannot go unpunished. Evil witch leaves big black dildo near sleeping hero which, when used, morphs the Snow White and Sleeping Beauty tales. Soon Prince Charming enters the scene and everyone (except the witch) can live happily ever after.
Fairy tales are never without morals and real life correlation, and this light-hearted, playful, raunchy look at the AIDS epidemic is optimistic in its happy ending. There is no need to understand German; everything is pantomime.
Pre-noms for best gay foreign tape, Best Director - Gay Video, Best Music - Gay, Bi, Trans Video, Best Screenplay - Gay Video, and Best Art Direction - Gay Video.